Self-Compassion With a Loving Friend
Dr. Roxane Chan leads a guided meditation on self-compassion with a loving friend.
June 9, 2020
Hello. This guided meditation is going to help you center in your compassionate heart, something that you can go to at any time, should you feel stressed or worried, or just in need of some comfort and space.` Start by settling yourself down somewhere comfortable, breathing in and noticing your breath and breathing out and noticing your breath, allowing your breath to settle and calm and begin to focus inwardly, perhaps by lowering your gaze or closing your eyes. Find yourself sitting somewhere totally comfortable, your favorite place. In your mind's eye see that favorite chair in your house or that favorite lawn chair by the beach, or maybe a rock in the woods somewhere, where you like to have a campfire. Find that place and then be at that place. Feel how it feels to sit there. Hear how it feels to sit there.
Smell how it feels to sit there. Be there fully. Instead of watching it in your mind's eye, be there fully. Now you see someone coming towards you, who you love very much and who loves you very much. It could be a person. It could be an animal, perhaps a dog or a cat. It could be someone that perhaps has passed away, but you would like to see again. See that person or that animal coming towards you. They're going to sit right down next to you, cuddled up, side to side, so that you could, if you like put your head on their shoulder or they could snuggle up on your lap. Hear the sound of their voice. Feel their touch and even the smell that you usually smell when you're with them, their perfume or their doggy smell. Be there together.
Now, centering again within yourself, thinking of that people or that person that you love so much, sitting there with them, snuggling up to them. Say to yourself on an inhale, "I wish them to be free of suffering." On exhale, "I wish them to be free of suffering." On your next breath on an inhale, "I wish them to be happy." On an exhale, "I wish them to be happy." Now, on an inhale, "I wish them to be free of suffering." On an exhale, "I wish them to be free of suffering." On an inhale, "I wish them to be joyous." On an exhale, "I wish them to be joyous." Feel all those feelings on your inhale and your exhale for this person or a pet that you love so much. Now, shift a little bit and include yourself with them.
"I wish that both them and me are happy." On an exhale, "I wish that we were both happy. I wish them and me to be healthy. I wish them and me to be healthy." On an inhale, "I wish both of us to be free of suffering. I wish both of us to be free of suffering. I wish them and me to be joyous. I wish both of us to be joyous." Then sit for a while in that wonderful feeling and then say goodbye to them. Thank them for coming to sit by you and watch them walk away. Wave goodbye, and have them wave to you. Perhaps they blow you a kiss or run around in circles a few times before they leave, or maybe the cat just saunters away with her tail in the air. Watch them walk away, feeling so content that you've been with them and then focus on your breath again.
"I wish to be happy." On an exhale, "I wish to be happy. I wish to be healthy. I wish to be healthy. I wish to be free of suffering. I wish to be free of suffering. I wish to be joyous. I wish to be joyous." Now, sit there as long as you like, repeating these wonderful, loving phrases, wishing with all the compassion that you have for your own wellbeing, your own happiness, to be free of suffering and know that this center is always here for you to focus on, to rest in, to find strength. When you're ready, open your eyes and return to your day.