Parenting the Preschooler: How do you help your child learn?

April 3, 2024 - Kylie Rymanowicz, <washi138@msu.edu> and <zoromski@msu.edu>,

Ages & Stages

Preschooler A child who is 3 to 5 years of age.

Young child A child who is 0 to 8 years of age.

Minding Our Language

Families come in all shapes, sizes, and styles. A “family” may include people who are related by blood, by marriage, and by choice. “Parents” may be biological, step-, foster, adoptive, legally appointed, or something else. When we use the words “family” and “parent” in these materials, we do so inclusively and with great respect for all adults who care for and work with young people.

Children learn best through their experiences. Each experience teaches them something new and builds on what they’ve learned from things that have happened before. You can help your child learn by guiding them as they learn. Do your best to provide just enough support and encouragement that your child doesn’t fail at a new task, but not so much that they aren’t challenged by it. Try reminding them of what has worked well in the past and what didn’t work so great.

Watch your child for cues. Use encouraging words when needed and point out what they are doing well. Sometimes just showing an interest in what your child is doing can be the best way to support their learning. You can also try some of these ideas:

  • Read together. Choose a book that your child has enjoyed before and may even know some of the words to. Point to each word as you read it. Encourage your child to read aloud any words they may already know, or to repeat a common phrase with you that is used throughout the book.
  • Write a letter. Give your child paper and a crayon, pencil, or pen to write a letter. As they write, sit next to them and write one of your own. Talk about the person each of you is writing to, what you are writing about, and what you think the person who receives each letter will think about it. Be sure that you each sign your name at the bottom of your letters.
  • Play a letter or number game. Pick a letter or number of the day and look for that letter or number wherever you go. Start with the first letter of your child’s name or the number that represents their age. Point out the letter or number the first few times, and then see if they can find it on their own. Give them a high five, fist bump or your special handshake each time they find it.
  • Build something together. Challenge them to build the tallest tower or the biggest house they can. Using blocks, furniture cushions, plastic cups, or whatever building materials the two of you agree on, encourage your child as they build their tower or house.
  • Talk about their day. During dinner, while they are taking a bath, or as you are tucking them in at night, ask them questions about their day. (“What did you have fun doing today?” “What was a hard thing you did today?” “What was your very favorite part of the day?”) Give them time to think back on their day as they talk to you about it. As they talk about something that may have been hard for them to do, ask how they might have done things differently.
  • Count with them. Count simple things like the number of flakes or fruit pieces in their breakfast cereal, the toys on the floor, or the socks in a laundry basket to practice counting every day. Each day, try adding one new number. For example, on the first day, count three T-shirts in their closet; the next day, count four slices of bread in the cupboard.

Find Out More

MSU Extension provides the following resources for parents and caregivers of preschoolers and young children at no or low cost. Be sure to check out these and other MSU Extension resources available at www.extension.msu.edu.

Extension Extras (https://bit.ly/2LC2vdX) – These compilations of news articles, activities, parenting tips and advice are published online Monday through Friday. The resources are designed for parents and caregivers of young children who are home all day during the novel coronavirus pandemic. Each day has a theme: Mindful Mondays, Tips on Tuesday, Working Wednesdays, Thinking Thursday, and Fun Fridays.

Extension Extras Enrichment Kits (https://bit.ly/35QAplQ) – These kits feature five or six early childhood activities with learning goals focused in areas such as social and emotional health, literacy, and STEM; a supply list; suggested children’s books; introduction letters explaining how to use the materials; and an evaluation. The kits are available as free downloads.

Early Childhood Videos (https://bit.ly/3ioyEkS) – These short videos offer parents and caregivers of young children information on parenting topics. Titles include “Perspective Taking,” “Family Movies,” “Goals of Misbehavior,” “Using Thinking and Feeling Words,” “The Waiting Game,” and “When Siblings Fight.”

Building Early Emotional Skills (BEES) in Young Children (https://bit.ly/38XW4KI) – This page provides links to a variety of free online parenting courses, workshops, and events offered by MSU Extension for parents and caregivers of young children aged 0 to 3.

Parenting the Preschooler: Social Competence and Emotional Well-Being © 2021 Michigan State University Board of Trustees. The fact sheets in this series may be copied for purposes of 4-H and other nonprofit educational programs and for individual use with credit to Michigan State University Extension.


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