From whispers to wellness: Addressing the root causes of rumors in youth settings
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EmailUnderstanding the social communication issues behind rumors can help adults mitigate their impact in youth group settings.
As part of a social organization, Michigan State University Extension 4-H members and volunteers may occasionally encounter the challenge of gossip or the spread of rumors. These behaviors—whether based on truth, partial truth, or misinformation—can impact individuals and the broader group dynamic.
But why do rumors spread in the first place? Exploring the reasons behind this behavior can help us respond with empathy and create environments that discourage gossip and promote respectful communication. The reasons behind gossip can apply to youth or adults in a program.
Here are some common motivations—and strategies that volunteers can use to help address them:
Attention seeking and social status
Youth may share rumors to feel accepted, increase their social standing or bond with others. Sometimes, it’s a way to get noticed or fit into a group.
Strategies to mitigate:
- Foster a sense of belonging rooted in mutual respect and shared interests. Incorporate team building and icebreakers so youth and adults get to know each other and find commonalities.
- Help youth reflect on how gossip can affect others. This can be a powerful way to build empathy. Discuss impact vs. intent.
- Create opportunities for youth to collaborate across different groups, reducing cliques and emphasizing group success over individual competition.
- Channel leadership and attention-seeking behaviors into positive roles—such as planning events, helping new members or leading team projects.
Coping with insecurities or emotions
Gossip can provide a sense of control or superiority. Sometimes it’s used to express jealousy, get revenge or simply fill awkward silences during conversations.
Strategies to mitigate:
- Model and discuss healthy ways to cope with difficult emotions, like hurt or disappointment.
- Encourage youth to consider the whole story and to show compassion—even when upset.
- Provide youth with tools to respond when they hear rumors or gossip about themselves or others.
- Co-create a group agreement that emphasizes positive and clear expectations on how members, families and volunteers treat each other. Items could include, “speak kindly towards others,” no talking behind other people’s backs,” or “ask, don’t assume.”
- Discuss the 4-H code of conduct and 4-H pledge in how 4-H members treat each other and refer to it if needed.
- Recognize and praise kindness, inclusion, sportsmanship and honesty. These behaviors are just as "cool" and far more valuable in the long run.
Processing and testing boundaries
Youth may share information to make sense of changes or test what’s socially acceptable. This might happen after big announcements, conflicts or shifting group dynamics.
Strategies to mitigate:
- After major events or changes, create space for guided discussions, either in groups or one-on-one, to clarify information and check-in emotionally.
- Encourage youth to go to a trusted adult if they are unsure about something they have heard.
- Promote critical thinking by encouraging youth to ask themselves questions such as, “Do I know this is true?” or “Why am I sharing this?”
- Clarify boundaries and expectations, especially if a rumor reveals confusion about what’s acceptable behavior. Understanding why information is being shared can help stop misinformation from being continuously spread.
Understanding why youth engage in gossip is key to building supportive, inclusive 4-H environments. By addressing the motivations behind gossip and responding with thoughtful strategies, leaders and volunteers can help youth grow in empathy, emotional intelligence and group citizenship.
For additional ideas on how to support youth, consider watching the Michigan 4-H Volunteer Webinar, “Fueling or Squashing the Rumor Mill.”
