Youth in the spotlight: The power of competition and the challenge of rumors
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EmailGoing beyond the ribbon to build resilience and respect in competitive youth programs.
Michigan State University Extension 4-H Youth Development programs offer young people, ages 8-19, the opportunity to showcase their growth and skills through a variety of competitive events —including horse shows, shooting sports competitions, communication contests, fairs, state awards and more. But these events provide much more than trophies and recognition. They foster essential life skills such as discipline, teamwork, resilience and confidence—qualities that serve youth well throughout their lives.
Participation in competitive events gives young people a strong sense of purpose and belonging. Whether they are completing a challenging project or competing in a championship class, 4-H members learn goal setting, time management, responsibility and the value of hard work. These experiences often lead to lasting friendships and offer youth a healthy outlet for stress and self-expression.
However, competition also comes with its challenges. One of the most difficult—but often overlooked—is the impact of rumors and gossip. In tight-knit communities or schools where everyone knows each other, the rumor mill can spin quickly, creating emotional strain for youth already managing performance pressure.
Rumors often stem from jealousy, misunderstandings or simple curiosity surrounding those who stand out. 4-H participants might find themselves at the center of speculation—accusations of favoritism, cheating or personal connections can quickly arise. Even seemingly harmless comments can erode confidence and fuel anxiety, affecting a young person's focus, performance and self-esteem.
This is where caring adults—parents, mentors and leaders—can make a meaningful difference. One powerful tool they can teach youth is how to use “I” statements to respond constructively.
“I” statements allow youth to express their feelings clearly and respectfully, without escalating conflict. Instead of reacting defensively or becoming part of the rumor cycle, a young person might say, “I feel hurt when people say things about me that aren’t true,” or “I want to focus on my competition, not on gossip.” These statements help set personal boundaries while promoting honest, respectful communication.
Bystanders also have an important role. They can support a culture of respect by speaking up with their own “I” statements. Examples include:
- “I feel uncomfortable when I hear things about someone who isn’t here to speak for themselves.”
- “I don’t feel right repeating something that I don’t know is true.”
- “I think this kind of talk can really hurt people, even if we don’t mean to.”
Using “I” statements helps model emotional intelligence and maturity—skills that are valuable both inside and outside of competitive settings. 4-H leaders and staff can support this growth by offering educational programs on topics such as positive communication, conflict resolution and responsible leadership. Adults should also actively model respectful behavior and constructive intervention.
Equipping youth with the tools to navigate rumors and maintain their integrity in the face of criticism is essential. It not only helps preserve the spirit of healthy competition, but also empowers young people to stand confidently in their truth.
Ultimately, competitive events should be safe, encouraging spaces where all youth can grow, shine and thrive. Addressing the emotional challenges that may come with public recognition is just as important as celebrating achievements. By helping young people respond to gossip with grace and resilience, we prepare them for success—not only in competition, but in life.
For more strategies on how to support youth, consider watching the Michigan 4-H Volunteer Webinar, “Fueling or Squashing the Rumor Mill” and explore additional resources from the MSU Extension 4-H Youth Development Program.
