How volunteers can reset relationships and rebuild team harmony
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EmailResetting relationships with fellow volunteers is a step toward understanding, growth and teamwork.
Volunteering is often about more than just the task at hand—it's about people working side-by-side with shared values and a common purpose. But even in the most passionate, mission-driven environments, conflicts or tensions can arise between volunteers. Miscommunications, personality differences or misunderstandings can strain relationships. When that happens, how do you move forward?
When the dynamic between two volunteers becomes tense, it can affect not only your own experience, but also the overall tone of the group. Tension may lead to frustration, reduced collaboration or even cause one (or both) volunteers to step away. Choosing to reset the relationship helps maintain a healthy, productive volunteer environment—and can lead to a stronger, more respectful partnership.
Resetting a relationship with a fellow volunteer doesn’t mean forgetting the past. It means taking a step toward understanding, growth and teamwork. Michigan State University Extension shares how you can thoughtfully and respectfully rebuild a connection with another volunteer.
Before starting a conversation with the other person, take a moment to reflect on your own perspective:
- What happened? Think about what caused the strain. Was it a single moment or a pattern of behavior?
- What do you need? Clarify your own feelings. Do you want to clear up a misunderstanding, set a boundary or just improve communication?
- What role did you play? Honestly assess whether your actions (or inaction) may have contributed to the disconnect.
A good rule of thumb is to be curious, not furious. Approaching the reset with humility and curiosity, not blame, can open the door to real resolution. Initiating a reset doesn’t mean pointing fingers. It’s about extending an invitation to reconnect. Keep in mind these things:
- Assume good intentions. Most volunteers are doing their best. Life stress, health concerns or different communication styles may influence behavior.
- Use “I” statements. Instead of saying “You always interrupt me,” try “I feel unheard when I’m cut off during meetings.”
- Choose the right moment. Find a quiet, private space and avoid bringing up concerns in front of others or during high-stress times.
When you’re ready to talk, focus on creating a calm, open dialogue.
- Lead with appreciation. Acknowledge the other volunteer’s dedication or contributions. It sets a positive tone.
- Name the challenge without assigning blame. “I’ve noticed some tension between us lately, and I care enough to want to fix it.”
- Invite their perspective. Ask how they’ve experienced the situation. “How have you been feeling about our work together?”
- Seek mutual understanding. You don’t have to agree on everything—but finding common ground helps rebuild trust.
- Identify shared goals. Center your conversation on why you’re both here—to support the cause, the organization and your community.
If the conversation goes well, take steps to solidify the reset:
- Set clear expectations. If certain behaviors caused friction (e.g., interruptions, missed handoffs), agree on how you’ll handle those situations in the future.
- Support one another. Ask how you can be a better partner in the work you’re doing together.
- Rebuild trust over time. A reset is just the first step. Continued respect, reliability and kindness will help the relationship grow stronger.
Sometimes, despite efforts, personalities or values simply don’t align. That’s okay. You can still choose to be respectful, polite and professional in your interactions. Focus on shared responsibilities and avoid gossip or tension that could impact others in the group.
Healthy volunteer communities are built on trust, inclusion and mutual respect. When volunteers take the initiative to repair relationships, it sets a powerful example. It shows that you care about the mission—and the people you serve alongside. Volunteers are one essential partners in carrying out the work of MSU Extension across the state, creating countless opportunities for engagement at all of life stages.
Volunteering isn’t just about what you give; it’s also about how you grow. Resetting a relationship with a fellow volunteer can be challenging, but it also offers the chance to deepen your empathy, strengthen your communication and help create a more connected and compassionate team. After all, we’re better together.
Looking for a place to volunteer? Consider MSU Extension and one of the signature programs where you can make a difference. To learn more about volunteering, reach out to your local MSU Extension office.
